dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
