I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
