I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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