I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
