i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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