ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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