She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Two words: nipple clamps
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
