I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wish there were birth control emojis
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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