he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
