I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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