so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
