This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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