she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
