Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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