i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
