Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
