I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
