O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize