You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
