i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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