Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
