its not stalking. its research.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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