i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I could make wine with my vomit
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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