my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
