Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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