well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
