your thong is hanging out like whoa
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
