OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
