Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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