can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
