there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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