I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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