when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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