apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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