you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
