so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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