Don't you send me to vm
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize