Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
