I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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