I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Drunk is not a location!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
