Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
