I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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