Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
