I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
