Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
