bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
