Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
