You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
