Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
