The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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