You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
