His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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