think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
