someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize