..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
