just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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