That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
