did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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