I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize