In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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