you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You made out with two different species that night
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
