Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
