I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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