So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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