I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
