i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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