i think my mom watched the whole time
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
