Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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