Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
